


The Habit of Loyalty

by j_stolirazzz



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst and Tragedy, Betrayal, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Implied/Referenced Sex, It is, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Jedi council sucks, Liberal use of Italics, M/M, Mace Windu Lives, Manipulation, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, No beta we die like mne, Trust Issues, and elipses lol, but he's not well liked in this fic, inspired by Macbeth a little, like hugee misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_stolirazzz/pseuds/j_stolirazzz
Summary: In this life, things went a little different and yet completely the same. Instead of lasting throughout the war, a young, forbidden couple broke up. Instead of fighting and drifting apart, a young jedi and his former master got closer. Too close. And dreams of a dying wife never haunted an angry man, and yet a temple still burned…Or, everyone tried their best, people actually talked, the relationships weren't toxic and yet...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Past Padme Amidala/Anakin Skywalker - Relationship, Sheev Palpatine & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 12
Kudos: 99





	The Habit of Loyalty

**Author's Note:**

> ROTS au. A fix it of sorts. I tried to make it a bit more realistic than 'that's not the jedi way, but in two minutes I'm gonna go slaughter children brb.' And also more depressing and more manipulation. Anakin's not dumb here, he just has a lot of feelings.
> 
> This is the longest fic I've ever written. There are definitely grammar mistakes, and some of the exposition scene are a bit more stilted and awkward than the angst/feelings scenes, but i'm so proud of this. Usually I work on a one-shot for a day or two tops and don't post it, but I've been working on this for a while.
> 
> I really hope you like it! Buckle up, it's an angsty ride ;))

In this life, things went a little different and yet completely the same. Instead of lasting throughout the war, a young, forbidden couple broke up. Instead of fighting and drifting apart, a young jedi and his former master got closer.  _ Too close. _ And dreams of a dying wife never haunted an angry man, and yet a temple still burned… 

~*~

“Ugh,” Anakin groaned from his spot sprawled out on Padme’s couch, “I just don’t know.” From across the room Padme gives a small hum of acknowledgement.

“I mean he wasn’t any different than how he normally is,” Anakin started again, ”and he’s always been so nice to me, but the conversation just felt… wrong? Off? I don’t know.” 

“Did he say anything specific that made you so suspicious?” Padme inquired as she got up and started to take hair pins out of her intricate hair. Anakin goes quiet. 

“I guess not… I mean he was a little more aggressive towards the Jedi, but that’s fair because they allowed him to be captured. And on the  _ Malevolence  _ he…” Anakin trailed off for a moment, but reluctantly continued at Padme’s look. “He tried to get me to leave Obi-Wan behind as we were crashing.” Padme shot up in alarm and gave him a look. 

“Anakin!” 

“I know! It wasn’t a firm suggestion and he seemed terrified at the time but, yeah. He still said it…”

“Oh Ani…” Anakin sighed as she placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. “I can’t tell you who you can and can’t trust, just… always remember who loves you.” Her words sounded so much like something his mother would’ve said, he had to look away. Padme, however, interpreted that differently and continued.

“You know I love you, despite how we turned out.” Anakin smiled fondly and sat up. 

“I know  _ that  _ Pads, and I love you too by the way.” Padme gave Anakin a pointed look.

“And he does too.” Once again Anakin looked away in pain. “He does.” She insists. 

“I know he cares about me more than anyone else, and I know he’s trying but,” he turns to lock eyes with Padme, “I don’t think he knows how to. To truly love.” She presses a soft kiss to his hair and sighs again.

“Oh Ani…”

~*~

Anakin leisurely strolled through the temple trying not to look like he had nothing to do. Being on leave always threw him off like this, going from no chance to breath to endless time to think. He didn’t have any pressing responsibilities at the temple anymore and Obi-Wan would be in a council meeting for at least another hour. 

At the thought of Obi-Wan, he sighed. They had some semblance of a relationship, but they would never discuss it. Especially on Coruscant, this close to the Jedi. It’s like Obi-Wan thought if they talked about what was going on, the whole thing would implode. Or maybe he thought it would make them feel more  _ real _ . Anakin sighed again. It was almost like Obi-Wan had this mental block, probably the result of growing up a Jedi, and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t put his all into a person. Not like Anakin could. Not like Anakin did, as if it was easy as breathing. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts and be productive, when his comm beeped.

_ “Knight Skywalker. The council has requested your presence immediately.” _

Barely suppressing a groan, Anakin begrudgingly makes his way to the council chambers, going through his few days on leave trying to figure out what he’s done wrong. Usually it’s obvious, constantly disobeying orders often leads to constant disappointed council talks. But he hasn’t even been on Coruscant for a week yet. It could be a mission, but once again, it hasn’t even been a week. Maybe they were just bored, he thought bitterly as he made his way to the council chambers, and wanted to play ‘belittle Anakin until he shows forbidden emotions.’ They loved that one. Anakin smirked to himself, but quickly wiped it off as he arrived. Taking a minute to compose himself, he took a deep breath, and entered the room.

“Skywalker,” Master Windu greets. And for a moment Anakin wants to snap, ‘ _ Knight _ Skywalker,’ but knows asking for respect from Windu would be a moot point. Outwardly, he’s the perfect image of a composed Jedi.

“Masters.” He bows calmly. He can feel the Masters watching him, studying his reactions. Something has happened...

“A request, Chancellor Palpatine has made. Regarding you.” Master Mundi starts, then pauses. Observing him. Is he supposed to know what the request is? Well, he doesn’t, so he remains silent and waits for them to continue. He feels in the force, because they still have not made eye contact, that Obi-Wan is pleased with this reaction.

“He has asked that you be placed on the council,” Master Windu says and Anakin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Him? A master on the council? Even though he knows that would never happen, no matter how many victories he wins for the Republic, a small sliver of hope builds in his chest. 

“I don’t know what to say,” he replies. He’s going for the ‘good, humble Jedi image,’ but he truly doesn’t know how to react here. 

“Allow this appointment lightly,”  _ Allow?  _ “the council does not. Disturbing, is this move by Chancellor Palpatine,” says Yoda and Anakin’s emotions are swirling through him. Absentmindedly, he can feel Obi-Wan sending him calm waves through their bond.

“I understand,” he says, but he really doesn’t. Is he on the council now? Just because of Palpatine? 

“You’re on the council.” That must’ve hurt Windu to say, “But we do not grant you the rank of Master.”  _ Nevermind _ . His anger flares.

_ “What?” _ Too late, he realizes he said that out loud. Windu raises a mocking eyebrow, and Anakin grits his teeth trying to suppress the rage in his chest.

“Apologies. It’s just, I’ve never heard of someone being on the council, and not a Master. It’s,” he hesitates, “unfair.” And the way the council looks at him at his words infuriates him. He has every right to rage at them, to storm out. To point out that he killed a Sith, something no one in this room besides Obi-Wan has done, something that would count as his ‘trial’ to become Master for  _ any _ other Jedi. But even his best attempt at calm, rational Jedi is meant with disdain.  _ It’s never enough. _

“Take a seat, young Skywalker.” And if that doesn’t sting… But he sits, obediently, half heartedly listening to the discussion. He tries to make eye contact with Obi-Wan, just to see what he thinks, or maybe for some comfort, but is ignored. Something‘s going on with Yoda and the Wookies, it’s all just more about the war. The war that seems to never end. 

Unlike this council meeting. Anakin swore he just sat down, but apparently the meeting’s over. Promising to focus more next time, he sticks close to Obi-Wan as they filter out of the chambers. Anakin splits off in a different direction then most of the Masters and, wordlessly, Obi-Wan falls into step with him. He leads them to a half hidden alcove where Anakin slumps against the wall and lets out a deep sigh.

“Obi-Wan I- What just happened?”

“Honestly Anakin, I don’t know, you tell me.” And there’s something weird about Obi-Wan’s tone that has him suddenly alarmed. Anakin takes a step closer, eyes pleading. 

“Wait, Obi-Wan you must believe I didn’t ask for this to happen.” 

“Of course I do, dear one,” he placates, and Anakin risks reaching for Obi-Wan’s hand. Despite not being completely hidden, Obi-Wan let’s him for a moment, gently rubbing his hand with his thumb, then pulling away. “But you must admit, it’s what you wanted.” Anakin’s jaw clenches, trying to ignore the sting of his words. 

“So you are suspicious of me. Like Windu, and everyone else.”

“No,” he corrects quickly, “I think it’s dangerous. The Chancellor knows it’s what you wanted too, despite whatever excuse he gave the council. I’m suspicious of the  _ Chancellor _ and what he wants in return for this favor.” Anakin meets his stare, eyes half angry and half desperate. 

“Couldn’t it simply be that. A favor.”

“He’s a politician.”

“He’s a friend.” They stare each other down, neither willing to back down, until Anakin sighs. A heavy, defeated sigh. At this, Obi-Wan instantly softens. 

“I didn’t want it to happen this way, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it. Does it?”

“Anakin, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You’re a remarkable Jedi Knight,” Anakin flinches at the title, “and a remarkable man.”

“But that’s just it. A Jedi Knight.” Obi-Wan opens his mouth to interrupt, but Anakin presses on. “I feel like an imposter sitting in that chair. A Knight in a room full of Masters who don’t truly want me there.” Impossibly, Obi-Wan softens even more. 

“I want you there, dear one.” Anakin smiles. 

“The only person I could ever need in my corner. Perfect.”

“I’ll always be in your corner. I promise.” They smile at each other, and Anakin swears the world could end and he’d be content as long as he could see Obi-Wan’s smile. Despite the only semi-private area, Obi-Wan allows him a chaste kiss. And in that moment, he’s at peace. 

~*~

“So they didn’t make you a Master?” Palpatine asks, taking a sip of his tea. Anakin sighs, trying to suppress the reflexive anger that surfaces whenever he speaks about it. He shakes his head no. 

“I’m sorry, my boy. I’d hoped they’d be able to see past your age and focus on your accomplishments, but…” he trails off suggestively, and Anakin sighs in agreement.

“I thank you for your support, your Excellency, but can we not discuss this anymore? I think about it enough, sir.” He tries to sell his light tone, but the sympathetic look the Chancellor gives him suggests he wasn’t very convincing. 

“Of course.” An almost awkward pause. “Oh! I’d been meaning to ask about some Senate gossip.”

“Yeah?” He leaned forward a bit in his chair, taking a sip of his caff. 

“Master Kenobi, it seems, has been visiting our dear Senator Amidala a lot lately.” Anakin almost spits up his caff. “The Senate's gossip has been a buzz, I was hoping you could give me the straight story.” Anakin’s silent for maybe a moment too long in confusion, so Palpatine continues.

“Unless there truly is a dramatic love triangle and you’ve challenged Kenobi to a duel?” At that, the Jedi huffs out a tiny laugh. 

“To be honest, sir, I don’t recall Obi-Wan visiting Padme at all recently. I think the whole story is baseless.” Palpatine shoots him a skeptical look, and suddenly Anakin’s more paranoid than he’d like to admit. 

“If you say so, my boy. I had a lot of sources for this one, but gossip is gossip I guess.” That gives Anakin pause. Taking a moment to think, he scours his brain for any mention from either of them about meetups. Nothing… 

“Gossip is gossip,” he echoes, and the words sound hollow even to him. And then, it’s 1500 and the Chancellor has to actually do his job. Anakin lets himself out of Palpatine’s office, losing himself in his thoughts on his journey back to the temple. 

It’s when he’s absentmindedly walking back to his chambers in the temple that someone calls his name. Startled out of thoughts, he looks up to see Obi-Wan.  _ Speak of the devil… _ Obi-Wan studies him for a minute, then gives him a soft smile. 

“Join me for a walk?” Anakin grins, discreetly joining their pinkies for a moment, before falling into step with him. Any paranoid thoughts fall away when he’s with Obi-Wan, and sometimes he wishes it could be like this all the time. Sometimes he wishes they could walk hand in hand, not just join pinkies for a moment. Sometimes he wishes they were free to be together…  _ Free _ . 

~*~

Once again, Anakin is off to talk to Padme. It’s funny, Anakin reflects, now that he and Padme are just friends and he doesn’t even bother to hide his visits well, people are more suspicious than ever. He smirks to himself as the Senators eye him, like they think they know something. Truly, the Senate is composed of  _ fools _ .

As he approaches Padme’s quarters, he feels a flare in the force. Cautiously, he taps into that feeling and, instead of entering, he lingers outside the door, assuming a classic ‘Jedi protector’ stance. In today’s political climate, no one will even bat an eye at him. Then, he extends his senses into the room. Inside was Padme, Bail, Mon Mothma, and a few others he didn’t recognize. Concentrating even further, he listens in. For some reason, the force was telling him this was no normal meeting…

“And do you, Senator Amidala, have anything more to add?” Inquired a random Senator. 

“Knight Skywalker opened up to me again,”  _ What?  _ “expressing concern that Palpatine was outwardly aggressive towards the Jedi.”  _ Again, what! _

“Elaborate,” said Bail. 

“He wouldn’t give me any direct quotes,” Padme started, and he felt another Senator’s intention to speak, but Padme continued on. “And I did ask, Senator. Apparently, Palpatine is under the impression that the Jedi ‘let him get captured’ and tried to convince Knight Skywalker of this point. When describing this conversation, Skywalker noted that ‘he wasn’t any different than how he normally is.’”  _ Has Padme been…? She wouldn’t…  _

“Anything else?”

“Only that Palpatine tried to leave Master Kenobi behind on the  _ Malevolence _ .”  _ Anything else I’ve told you in confidence that you want to share with the class, _ he wondered sarcastically. 

“Thank you Senator, you’re a natural spy it seems.” And maybe that was Bail attempting a joke, but at the word  _ spy _ Anakin felt his heart break again. 

Spy.

She’d been spying on him, for god knows how long. Pretending to care about him, being someone he could confide in and count on. How much of it was a lie? How long has she been just a spy? How long has she been  _ using _ him? And just like that, his hurt turned to rage. The fire that seems to burn in his chest more and more, lit up. How dare she use him like that? Take their love and abuse it. Use it for her own political gain! 

‘ _ Master Kenobi, it seems, has been visiting our dear Senator Amidala a lot lately.’ _

Was Obi-Wan in on this? Was he too using him for information about Palpatine? _ ‘I’m suspicious of the Chancellor,’  _ Obi-Wan had said. But Obi-Wan had said it in concern of him. Not because he was secretly conspiring against him. And yet… he had thought that about Padme too… 

He stormed out of the Senatorial apartment building, unable to listen anymore. He trusted Obi-Wan, he loved him. Obi-Wan would never conspire against him, he would always be in his corner.  _ He would be _ .

If there’s one thing Obi-Wan’s not, it’s a liar _._

Distractedly, he searched for Obi-Wan; he’s always been able to sort Anakin out. He organizes the thoughts that fly throughout his mind like a storm and lays them out neatly for Anakin to understand. If anyone can help him with what to do about Padme, it’s Obi-Wan. Absentmindedly, he notes that Obi-Wan can also temper this anger that’s flaring in his chest still. The type of anger that used to terrify him, but now just makes him uneasy… 

Reaching for their bond, Anakin notes that Obi-Wan was already in the council chambers. It was 1320 and the meeting wasn’t until 1400, but Anakin shrugged it off because he knew sometimes he liked to mediate in the glass room before meetings and center himself. Figuring he could get his meditating over with, he lazily went to meet Obi-Wan there. 

However, when he walked he walked in, the entire council was already there. His steps faltered as conversation quickly died down and the holograms changed. Anakin eyed them all suspiciously, hesitantly bowing.

“Masters.”

“Skywalker,” Windu spoke, breaking the silence. “Nice of you to show up.” And once again his anger flared. Even when he shows up early, it’s not enough. He slowly walks to his seat, wishing Obi-Wan would break his ‘don’t look at Anakin during meetings’ rule so he could figure out what was going on. And when he sits down, the meeting commences. As if they weren’t acting suspicious earlier, as if they all arrived at the same time. And it was weird, all his words during the meeting were hesitant but strong, and he wishes the whole time he could just relax. 

It’s not that he doesn’t trust the Masters, because he sort of does, but everyone’s been odd around him. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were hiding something from him. The council has been suspicious of him because of the Chancellor, Padme is spying on him, Windu hates him, and Obi-Wan… Obi-Wan’s only indirectly involved. He’s on the council, but he’s only one voice. He’s in Anakin’s corner, it’s only fair that Anakin be in his too. Stubbornly, Obi-Wan’s words float through his mind.

_ ‘But you must admit, it’s what you wanted.’ ‘He’s a politician.’ _

Obi-Wan was suspicious of the Chancellor, just like Padme.

‘ _ Master Kenobi, it seems, has been visiting our dear Senator Amidala a lot lately.’ _

But he trusts Obi-Wan, he loves Obi-Wan. He promised him he would be on his side, he’s supported Anakin for as long as Anakin can remember, and Obi-Wan cares about him. As much as he is able to. He doesn’t deserve his suspicion any more than Palpatine deserves others. Obi-Wan was on Anakin’s side. Always.

_ He promised. _

~*~

After the  _ long  _ and weird meeting, Anakin falls into step with Obi-Wan. He doesn’t know where they’re going, and he honestly doesn’t care. He needs to talk.

“So, Utapau. I hope you finally catch Grievous,” Anakin starts, trying to keep conversation light. Obi-Wan fondly rolls his eyes.

“I’m sorry you can’t come,” he says, and Anakin huffs a little at how easy the other Jedi can see through him. “I would’ve liked someone watching my back.” Anakin smiles.

“Yes, well. God forbid the Council grants either of us what we want.” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes again. “Obi-Wan?” He starts hesitantly.

“Yes, dear one.”

“When I first arrived…” he trails off, choosing his words. “I don’t want to accuse anyone of anything but it was… suspicious. What was everyone talking about before I arrived?” Obi-Wan sighs.

“I only arrived a minute or so before you to meditate,” Obi-Wan begins, glancing around the halls as he speaks, “and everyone was already there when I arrived. I simply don’t know, my dear.” Anakin smiles. He knew it. 

“Look, I have to go, but can I come by later. Something happened and if you’re leaving tomorrow morning-”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan cuts off his rambling. “Of course.” Obi-Wan gives him a soft smile, but Anakin’s not done. He fidgets a bit for a moment, hesitant to continue. Hesitant to get rejected. Obi-Wan prompts him with a raise of an eyebrow.

“Can I stay the night?” Anakin blurts out. And there’s a pause. It feels like eternity as Obi-Wan considers it, his heart steadily sinking in his stomach every second Obi-Wan doesn’t say yes. And then, Obi-Wan’s eyes soften as he takes Anakin’s fidgeting and nervous form. If Anakin wasn’t so nervous, he might’ve noticed the little bit of guilt in the other Jedi’s eyes.

“I’d love that, my dear.” And instantly Anakin deflates. They’d talk about Padme, they’d  _ not talk for a while _ , and then Anakin would just be able to hold Obi-Wan and everything would be okay again. Being with Obi-Wan always makes him feel better.

Simply content.

~*~

Anakin wakes to quiet breath against his neck and soft hair lightly brushing his nose. Smiling Anakin relishes the warmth of Obi-Wan in his arms. For the first time since they’d been back to Coruscant, Obi-Wan had let him stay over. And, as much as he’d enjoyed it last night, this was his favorite part. Waking up with him in his arms, feeling impossibly warm and impossibly content. Some Jedi found true peace in meditating, running, fighting, etc, but Anakin found it during mornings like this.

They’d sleep together often while out in Wild Space, or in the far depths of the Outer Rim, but the closer they got to Coruscant the rarer of an occurrence this was. As if the more distance Obi-Wan put between him and the Jedi, the more he could ignore their rules.

Tiredly, Anakin snuggled into Obi-Wan auburn hair and just laid there with him. Breathing him in, savoring the moment. Slowly, Obi-Wan stirred awake. He blinked, then blearily looked up at Anakin with a tired grin reserved only for him, and Anakin couldn’t resist planting a kiss on his forehead. Obi-Wan huffed out a laugh, his breath tickling him a bit.

“G’morning, my dear,” he muttered against Anakin’s collarbone, where his head was once again tucked. Anakin groaned lightly.

“If we just lay here and go back to sleep, maybe we can pretend it’s not morning.” Obi-Wan looked up at him again, softly.

“Anakin-” he starts, but Anakin cuts him off with a soft kiss. He didn’t need to hear Obi-Wan say it, Anakin knew.

“I know you have to leave, but let me have this. Just for a moment.” And Obi-Wan concedes, laying his head now on top of Anakin’s chest.

“I’m sorry about Padme,” he says softly, and Anakin tightens his hold on Obi-Wan a bit. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he responds, voice fragile. “I thought I meant more to her than that, I never thought she’d…” he trails off. 

“Keep in mind Anakin, you technically do not have the full story.” Anakin huffs. 

“I think I have enough. I just…” Obi-Wan lifts his head again and presses a soft kiss against Anakin’s lips. 

“Don’t lose your trust too easily,” he says, and Anakin frowns, about to say something, when Obi-Wan kisses him again. Anakin sighs. He’ll just enjoy this moment with the man he loves. Savor it, until he has to leave. Like he’s always done.

~*~

This time, while Master Kenobi is away, instead of an old man admitting the truth to a confused, young man, a bitter Jedi Master learns of Palpatine's deception. With his purple ‘saber, the Master confronts Sidious with those he  _ trusts _ . Anakin Skywalker is not on that list, yet this story seems to revolve around him like the Earth around the Sun.

~*~

Anakin bursts into the room, the force screaming at him, and his eyes widen. There’s Windu, surrounded by dead Jedi, pointing a lightsaber at Chancellor Palpatine. Who’s huddled on the ground.

“Anakin,” the Chancellor cries out once he sees him, “help me!” Anakin strides over, lightsaber lit.

“Skywalker-” Windu starts menacingly, but Anakin interrupts him.

“Master, what are you doing!?” Anakin once again surveys the scene with horror, and Windu comes to the realization of what this looks like.

“Skywalker, I didn’t do this. Look, the Chancellor is a Sith Lord, the one we’ve been looking for,” Windu insists, and Anakin scoffs. His grip on his lightsaber tightens, and he gives an exaggerated glance to Palpatine on the ground.

“Uh huh, right.”

“Skywalker-” But this time, Palpatine interrupts.

“Anakin, I knew this would happen. I was about to send you this holo,” he reaches into his robes and grabs a disc, but Windu reaffirms his lightsaber’s stance.

“Don’t move!” Palpatine’s movements stopped, disc halfway out.

“I was about to send it to you, when the Jedi entered. Then Windu, who I presume knew about it, attacked us.” With a snarl, Anakin used the force to bring it to his hand and hit play. It shows an informal council meeting and the focus is on Windu and Ki-Adi.

_ ‘We’d have to take over the Senate. It’d ensure a smooth transition.’  _

Anakin looks at Windu in disbelief, who in turn simply sighs.

“Don’t be foolish,” Windu warns. Anakin grins in response. Then he attacks. Master Windu seems fatigued, and slightly surprised by his attack, so Anakin is quickly able to gain the upper hand. Windu switches from Vaapad to Soresu, and that’s when Anakin knew he had him. Anakin knew how to fight Soresu better than anyone. With a flick of his wrist, Windu’s hand was gone, and Anakin swiftly slammed his hilt into the Master’s head. Knocking him out cold. Part of him, a part vibrating just under his skin, wanted to kill him. But… There's been enough death in this room for today. He stared at the fallen master for a moment, processing what just happened. Did the Jedi just try to take over the Republic…? Clearly only half the council knew about it, evidenced by the bodies strewn across the floor. But  _ why _ ?

“Anakin!” Palpatine shouts, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Thank you, my boy. I thought I was gone for a moment there.”

“Of course, sir. No thanks necessary.” Palpatine nods graciously again, then joins him in staring at Windu. There’s a moment of silence as they reflect.

“It seems the Jedi are attempting a coup.” Anakin can only nod, throat suddenly tight. “Look, we can’t have two wars at the same time. I recently received intelligence from an agent deep undercover. There’s a Seperatist meeting taking place in one hour, all the Senators will be there.” He pauses suggestively.

“Sir?” There’s a sinking feeling in Anakin’s stomach.

“I want you to go there and… take care of them. End the war.” Anakin blanches.

“Sir-”

“Anakin, as Chancellor of the Republic, I’m giving you permission. We can’t fight a war on two fronts, not against Jedi. Please, my boy.” Anakin hesitates. He could end the war but… killing the Senators?

“Wouldn’t it be nice to finally have peace. Stop all the killing.” Anakin glances around at the room full of bodies. A few dead Senators, and things like this would never happen again. What’s a few more dead Separatists in the grand scheme of the war? 

“Where would you have me go, sir?” He asks, voice steely with resolve. Palpatine smiles.

“Mustafar.” And Anakin takes a deep breath, then nods.  _ Peace _ . Wouldn’t that be a nice change of pace… 

~*~

Camly, Anakin walks into the room full of Senators. Full of  _ Separatists _ . He taps into the force, forcing all the doors to shut and lock, smirking under his hood as conversation around him slowly died. The ones closest to him back away, and he even saw a few of the women hide behind others. They all stare at him, like  _ cowards _ . Like cowards who send droids to kill his men. Cowards who start war over politics. Cowards who sit and talk, while he and Obi-Wan are forced to fight for their lives. He felt his rage flare.

“I have come to inform you that the war is over.” He pauses for effect, waits for the confused muttering to start… then ignites his lightsaber. Instant silence. And then he moves and the chaos begins. Most of them run for the exits as they scatter, but their hope is in vain. Some of them pull out blasters, but Anakin has dived into the force. He spins, deflects, and slices on instinct, the force flowing through him stronger than it ever has. A woman screams and he savagely snaps her neck. A blaster bolt is fired at his back, which he stops with the force and sends it in between the Senator’s eyes.  _ How many of his men has he seen die that way… _

It feels like it’s been hours, while at the same time it feels like it’s been no time at all. He’s having trouble thinking, the force is so loud it’s like blood is rushing through his ears. His tunnel vision has begun to fade and he realizes there’s only one man left standing. The man hastily puts his hands up in surrender.

“Please sir-” he starts, but Anakin has already decapitated him.  _ It’s too late for ‘please.’  _ Breathing heavy, Anakin surveys the scene he’s left behind. He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts, but it’s like he can’t focus. His anger’s not fading like it usually does, his chest is still tight, and his eyes almost feel alight.

Standing amongst the bodies, Anakin smiles. He’s finally done what the Jedi have never allowed him to do. Momentarily, he’s brought the galaxy peace. And he knows the Jedi will never understand, knows that he’ll never be allowed back and it’s…  _ freeing _ . What are the Jedi’s rules compared to him? Compared to peace? With their power, the Jedi could’ve ended the war so long ago, but they didn’t. They  _ chose _ not to. 

His rage is building again,  _ did he even calm down, _ when his comm chimes. It’s the Chancellor. Anakin blinks, unsuccessfully trying to clear his thoughts again, then answers. 

“Anakin,” Palpatine starts pleasantly. “I assume it’s done.” 

“Yes, sir.” When did his voice get so rough? Palpatine smiles.

“Excellent,” he replies. And if Anakin was of right mind, maybe he’d have noticed the strange glint in Palpatine’s eyes as the older man studied him. “I just need one more thing from you, my boy.”

“Of course, your excellency.”

“The temple has gone into lock down, but I still think this is the perfect time to hit them. They’re off balance, and many don’t even know what’s going on. Anakin, I need you to tell me the ways around the temple’s defenses.”

“What?” he replies reflexively. The habit of loyalty is hard to kick after all.

“I understand you may have some lingering loyalty to the Jedi,” Palpatine says, trailing off to give Anakin a window to deny this, but once again he hesitates. “But this is time sensitive and crucial for any chance of victory.” He doesn’t even know why he’s pausing. A voice in the back of his mind supplies  _ Obi-Wan _ , and instantly he can think through the chaos a bit. Obi-Wan’s a Jedi, through and through. Is he turning his back on him? For the Republic?

_ No. _ Obi-Wan and he are in this together. The Jedi turned on them first, forced them to hide like they were shameful. Forcing Obi-Wan to suppress himself, forcing his brilliant smile down in exchange for serenity. He doesn’t owe them anything.

“No, sir. I’ll tell you everything.” And he does, an inappropriate smirk on his face. In his defense, he’s finally giving the council a solid reason to hate him.  _ You’re welcome, Masters. _

“Thank you, my boy. Stay on Mustafar, I’ll meet you there soon.” Anakin nods and hangs up. 

~*~

Palpatine wanted Anakin out of the way, still too unpredictable to be reliable...  _ yet _ . But what he didn’t count on was a young Jedi, fueled by love, beating him there and confronting the confused and angry Anakin Skywalker.

~*~

Once, during a lull in the war, Captain Rex told Obi-Wan a story. They had just gotten done reporting to the council and were having an unofficial celebratory party by a humble fire. Anakin was asleep, and Rex was telling stories from his training days. Very pointedly, he told him about a clone, Anarchy, who, true to his name, was a rebellious clone. Rebellious, but  _ good. _ The Kaminoans couldn’t get rid of him because he was so sharp, younger clones looked up to him, and he was a rebel. He’d be seen as a martyr and inspire even more troublemakers, something they couldn’t afford. 

So, instead, they made him want to leave. They belittled him, isolated him from his squadmates and friends, ridiculed his mistakes and nitpicked his successes. They claimed he could never do anything right, and when he did it wasn’t enough. He’d be about to reach the bar, but then they’d just raise it again, all while constantly moving him around so he’d have no strong friendships. Then, one day, he snapped. He attacked the instructors, his current squad, and anyone he could to escape. Be  _ free _ . Or get revenge, who knows. They subdued him eventually and the Kaminoans were thrilled, finally having their excuse to recondition him.

Obi-Wan never understood that story until he stood across from it himself. Until he looked into Anakin’s eyes from what felt like the other side of the battlefield. They were both frozen, staring at each other with unreadable expressions.

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan breathed out, and in an instant Anakin strode over and took Obi-Wan’s face in his hands. This close, his Anakin looked so hurt and so confused, that Obi-Wan felt his heartbreak.

“Obi-Wan, I-” Anakin started, but the Jedi cut him off with a kiss. They both melted into it, a moment of simplicity in a time where nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Regretfully, Obi-Wan broke it. He knew they had to talk, and that his Anakin was anything but simple. Obi-Wan lightly traces Anakin’s jaw, still held loosely in his arms.

“Anakin,” he starts hesitantly, “come back with me?” Anakin looks away. “Please… I- I understand you were-”

“I don’t think you do understand, Obi-Wan,” he interrupts, grabbing Obi-Wan’s hand from his face and holding it gently. “I don’t want to go back. We’re better off without the Jedi, I’m finally  _ free. _ Free to be me, free to explore my power, free to be with you…” 

“Free to explore your power…?” At his question, Anakin’s eyes flash yellow. It’s brief, but Obi-Wan still feels his heart sink like a stone. Distantly, he notes that while his chest tightens in pain, his eyes don’t widen in surprise. As if a part of him already knew… 

“By murdering more Senators?” Obi-Wan continues, taking a subtle step back. Anakin’s eyes flick to the created space. “By invading another temple? Anakin, there were innocents! Padawans, younglings!” Anakin’s blue eyes close in pain, tears welling.

“I didn’t-” A single tear slips out, but Obi-Wan is on a roll. 

“Didn’t what? Care about anything but weakening the Jedi!” And suddenly, Anakin’s anger is back.

“They committed treason! Windu tried to kill the Chancellor of the Republic and take over the Senate. The Jedi, the senators,  _ everyone _ was trying to destroy the Republic from the inside!”

“Palpatine’s a Sith, Anakin.” Ankin scoffs, taking his own step back from Obi-Wan. “You don’t trust my word?” Obi-Wan accuses. Anakin’s jaw tightens.

“I don’t trust your source.”  _ Windu _ went unsaid, but was heard anyway. Desperately, Obi-Wan tried to steer the conversation somewhere productive.

“Look, Master Windu told us what happened. How you were tricked, how Palpatine played a convincing innocent. The council is willing to pardon you for some of your crimes, especially since you believed the Jedi to be treasonous.”

“The council  _ lies _ ,” he hisses. “They despise us, they’ve been lying to us about their intentions for who knows how long! Obi-Wan, how are you not on my side about this!?”  _ Silence…  _ “Unless… the council didn’t lie to  _ us _ , they lied to  _ me. _ ” Anakin looks away, hurt and angry. “ _ You _ lied to me.”

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan starts, but his guilty face says it all. His breathings heavy as he watches Anakin’s eyes rapidly flicker between blue and gold, conflict clearly written all over him. 

“You weren’t meditating,” Anakin begins, starting quietly but his voice steadily rising, “you knew about the secret meeting. You’re on Windu’s side because you knew about it. You, you…” With an aggravated yell, Anakin turns his back on Obi-Wan. A single tear leaks out of Obi-Wan’s eye.

“If you’re not with me, then you are my enemy.”

“Anakin-” but the man in question whirls around, eyes gold.

“No more lies!” He roars, igniting his ‘saber. The single tear splashes on Mustafar’s hot surface with a hiss as Obi-Wan lights his own. The battle has begun… 

~*~

Anakin knew it would come to this the moment he said ‘no.’ He knew it would come to this the moment Obi-Wan took a step back. He knew it would come to this, but he couldn’t have predicted the pain that coursed through his veins at its arrival.

For the first time in what felt like days, his anger dissipated. With Obi-Wan in his arms, his heart rate slowed and he felt like he could breathe easy. But with Anakin, such inner peace could never last. Word after word created a chasm between them until Anakin had to turn his back on his love. The last person he thought would never betray him. Beside Palpatine,  _ everyone _ lied to him. Everyone used him, everyone deceived him. And foolishly,  _ naively,  _ he had thought Obi-Wan would never do that. Beneath the rage, Anakin felt like crying. He had promised to be in his corner.  _ Promised.  _ But what is a promise from a liar? What is love when all anyone does is use it against him. 

So they fought. Their ‘sabers clashing together and swirling in a spectacular light show. He could almost pretend they were sparring if blood wasn’t rushing through and his ears and Obi-Wan’s eyes were red with suppressed tears. They danced around Mustafar, unable to break through each other’s defenses, each one perfectly able to predict the other. They jumped over lava without a care, fought while almost falling to their deaths, and didn’t dare take their eyes off of the other. Obi-Wan floats on a piece of scrap out of reach and catches his breath, Anakin takes a moment to do the same.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan suddenly shouts, “Palpatine is deceiving you. You must see that!” Anakin’s eyes narrow.

“You’re all liars, every single one of you. Treasonous, liars! He’s the only one who’s been honest with me!” Obi-Wan sighs at his response, and Anakin closes the gap and resumes the fight before he can say another word. They fly across the lava, moving their floating structures almost as fast as their sabers are moving. And then, they’re back on flat land, a small area surrounded by lava. Sweat drips down Anakin’s back, but he can’t feel anything right now besides the force and his rage. The heat seeps through him and empowers him, but he can see Obi-Wan starting to fatigue. Normally Anakin would’ve tired by now, but in this moment he felt  _ powerful _ . As if he was a conduit of the force, nothing Obi-Wan did could touch him.  _ This _ . This is what the Jedi have been keeping from him. This is what he’s been searching for without even realizing it. There’s a natural lull in the fight so they break apart and begin to circle each other again.

“What happened to you, Anakin.” Obi-Wan asks brokenly, and Anakin’s jaw tightens.

“I’m defending the Republic, like I swore to do. Like you swore to do! What happened to you?”

“I’m loyal to democracy! To the Jedi! You know this.” Obi-Wan responds, agitated. Desperate. Anakin pauses, tears welling in his eyes.

“I thought you were loyal to me… but I guess you’re breaking a lot of promises lately.” Obi-Wan deflates a bit, starting to lower his ‘saber slightly.

“Anakin-” But Anakin will hear no more. With a frustrated yell, he pounces. Obi-Wan’s tired Soresu’s no match for Anakin’s powerful Djem So. Slowly but surely he gains the upperground. He twists his wrist, succinctly disarming Obi-Wan and forcing him to his knees. They’re both breathing heavy as Anakin points his lightsaber at Obi-Wan’s throat.

“Would you kill me, my love?” Obi-Wan asks softly. Brokenly. “For Palpatine?” And Anakin is frozen. His mind is ablaze and time seems to slow down as he stares at Obi-Wan. His love. His enemy. He knows what the force wants him to do, he knows it wants him to end it. But he hesitates, staring into the eyes he used to get lost in for days. Tears slowly stream down both their cheeks.

“Was I ever truly ‘your love?’” Anakin whispers, and Obi-Wan’s face crumples. He looks as if he’s about to respond, when suddenly there’s a flare in the force. Both of their eyes widen in horror as they feel the simultaneous deaths of Jedi everywhere. Not the ones in the temple, there were few still there anyway, but the Jedi all throughout the galaxy. Obi-Wan stares at Anakin in shock.

“Anakin, what have you done?”

“I didn’t- I don’t know how he…” Anakin trails off. He genuinely doesn’t know what has happened, but regardless it’s what he wanted… right? The galaxy is at peace, the Republic is safe, he’s won. And yet, there’s still a sharp pain in his chest and a stinging behind his eyes. His face hardens.

“I don’t know what he did,” Anakin starts firmly, though he can tell Obi-Wan doesn’t believe him. “but it’s been done. We’ve won, fighting is fruitless. Join me, we can fix the galaxy together. Obi-Wan, we’d be  _ free _ to be together.” There’s a pause. Then Obi-Wan glares.

“Not like this. I won’t rule the galaxy with you, never. If you want me out of your way, you’ll have to kill me, dear one.” And there’s a fire in his eyes as Obi-Wan speaks now, a fire that Anakin’s only seen directed at his enemies, and the pain of it makes Anakin snarl. Obi-Wan stares right into his eyes, bravely ready for the death he’s so sure is coming. Anakin is still breathing heavy, stuck with indecision.

“They were such a beautiful blue…” Obi-Wan mutters, and Anakin’s breath catches in his throat at the words. Without another thought, Anakin brings the hilt of his lightsaber down on Obi-Wan and knocks him out cold. 

~*~

And then, Palpatines there. He’s on Mustafar, and Anakin learns the truth. The war had been a scam, their troopers were now mindless droids, and Palpatine was a Sith… 

Something in Anakin  _ breaks _ . 

He lets Palpatine place his hand on his back, lets Palpatine think he’s won. Plays the part of ‘excited new Sith apprentice.’ H he smiles, a fake grin, and turns to Palpatine as if he’s about to express his gratitude…

Then stabs his lightsaber through Palpatine’s chest. Holding it there until the light fades in Palpatine’s cold, yellow eyes. Anakin drops him roughly to the ground and turns his back on him. He stares at Mustafar’s churning lava, letting his lightsaber slip through his fingers, and feeling himself fall to his knees.

Now, completely alone, Anakin lets himself break down. He sobs into his hands, his cries echoing eerily throughout the planet. It’s ugly, it’s loud and he hates himself for it. He  _ hates himself. _

Now, completely alone, Anakin lets himself  _ fall _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!! Kudos or review, it really means a lot, especially this fic. I'm so proud of it.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> <3 stolirazzz
> 
> (ps. there will be a pt2)


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